I always have clients ask me how I’m going to figure out what emotional events from their past are ones that may be affecting them today. First off, I am constantly reminding people that what we think of as trauma and what actually traumatizes us are two different things. Often the major events in our lives are not even the things linked to some of our negative emotions and limiting beliefs…which then take a toll on our immune systems. Clients are surprised when we sometimes find out it’s not the major trauma they thought it would be, but rather something a colleague from five years ago said to them on a bad day.
So, how do we figure out what’s what? Well, I have many angles that I approach someone’s problem from because I don’t want to miss any possible solution!
However, one thing I always ask clients at some point is:
How do you feel about your problem?
The problem can be anything from being chronically ill to being unable to handle their kids calmly. And no, I don’t judge you if you’re not a saint with your children ;)
I find that how someone feels about their problem is often a good indication of what kind of emotional contributors might have been there in the first place.
Let me explain…..
Jim (who doesn’t exist except for this example by the way) comes in with pain in his joints. I ask Jim when this started and he says about three years ago. So, I ask him if he remembers what was going on in his life three years ago. He rattles off a list of things that could have caused his body to go into overload. Once we’ve explored some initial possibilities, I also ask how he feels about his joint pain. Does he feel angry? Sad? Frustrated? Each client will have a really unique feeling about their problem, even if the actual problem is a common one – like joint pain.
Whatever Jim’s primary emotion about his joint pain is, is a good starting point. It allows us to look at other times he had that emotion about an event or situation. For instance, if he feels “tired of dealing with it,” I then try to figure out what else he is/was “tired of” or what situation was “tiring” him out around the same time or leading up to that time.
I have found over and over again that the issues linked to the problem are often very indicative of either how they feel physically, or how we feel about them emotionally.
Our bodies and brains are so smart that I really believe they are constantly trying to give us clues as to what we need to look at in our lives. Once we learn to listen, we can start to address the events and emotions. I am constantly amazed how once people are open to allowing, pictures and random things pop into their minds as clues. It’s my favorite part of a session and it always happens!
Although our issues often seem complicated, I find that using just a few of my “detective” techniques can reveal just what we need to know. And of course then we can use energy therapy techniques to start clearing them away.
Even if you aren’t a client of mine though, this a great approach you can use yourself to see if you can connect any dots. I promise they’re there if you look!by