I’ve had to tell three different people “you won’t heal” just this week alone.
I almost never say this, but here’s why I did.
You can’t “do the work” and not really be doing the work.
Let me be blunt.
Emotional and spiritual healing isn’t about simply clearing beliefs, releasing stuck emotions, and dealing with your trauma so you can check it off the list to be able to say “I did it.” (I just talked with Dr. Karlfeldt about this on his podcast, here).
Here’s what your body is asking of you—
It’s asking you to go deeper.
What’s wrong? What’s not working? How are you living that’s not in alignment with how you know you should be living? How are you lying to yourself? How are you going to do something about it? Where are you letting FEAR lead?
You can’t heal without asking yourself the questions and truthfully answering them.
You won’t heal without doing that work.
You don’t have to do it all or all at once. But you can’t heal “around” the stuff that really needs to be healed.
You won’t heal by just using techniques, mine or anyone else’s. Even and especially if you control your entire healing journey by making lists, checking things off, and saying you did it. But are not really doing it ….
The techniques are the tool to help you change … releasing perfectionism, trusting your process, stop being the victim, quit being a control freak, and admit to yourself what you really want and take actions to get it.
The tools are not the cure. You can use them all day on the “little things” and see no progress. Or you can use them once on something “real” that’s been holding you back and see a huge shift.
You can’t slap on a few techniques or clear some stuck emotions and magically transform into a healthy person.
If this stings as you read it, I get it. OUCH. I’ve been here too.
I had a health hiccup in very early 2024.
I was “doing all the work” (or telling myself I was) and nothing was working.
I was very conveniently ignoring the deep stuff .. that I was letting fear rule my life, I was resistant to making changes I needed to make, and I was not showing up in the ways I needed to for meaningful healing.
I was going through the motions but not digging deep enough for it to count.
That journey was what inspired me to create my monthly membership + community, The Fearless Living Collective.
I knew others were doing what I was …. trying to skate by without holding their feet to the fire and making themselves commit to doing the work of living in alignment with the life and health they want.
It’s tough love maybe but we can’t baby ourselves. We can love and help ourselves gently, but we can’t let ourselves get away with excuses anymore.
Healing takes some serious commitment.
“Tell me what blocks to release and I’ll do it,” those three people told me this week.
“I can’t,” I replied.
Because YOU have to do the work. You have to find out what’s going on with you. I can help but I can’t do it for you.
And listen, I know it’s not easy. Like I said, I’ve been there too.
But it’s the necessary, hard, and TOTALLY WORTH IT work your body is begging you to do.
If you’ve been skirting around the “real” stuff and are ready to do the deeper work, reply and tell me just to hold your feet to the fire. Accountability is everything. Your body isn’t letting you get away with this anymore and you can’t let yourself either.
If you need more support, come commit with us to being our most fearless selves in the Fearless Living Collective. You know what’s coming next, right?
But come ready. You have to show up. Listen to the replays. Be ALL IN.
Either way, promise me you’ll stop checking off a thousand lists (which trust me I love, I’m a Virgo)!
This email is a gentle wake-up call. It’s time to do what you’re worth of doing — digging and healing deep.