Stay In Your Own Chair: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Stay In Your Own Chair: How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

how to stop comparing yourself to others

how to stop comparing yourself to othersIt’s not easy. Everyone’s wonderful lives and successes are now displayed before us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In this digital and social world, there are more opportunities for comparing yourself to others than ever before. 

She has more than me.

He’s more successful. 

She’s happier.

I should be more like him.

It’s endless, this comparing ourselves game we play; and totally destructive to our own inner peace.

Recently, I found myself – as I sometimes do – falling into this comparison trap, too.  While writing my next book, I ended up sidetracked many times thinking, Well this or that author includes this in THEIR book. I am missing that. I ended up almost restructuring my book solely based on this crazy-brain idea that I was indeed missing, lacking, void of something.

Oy vey, right?

This gave me an excellent opportunity to dig down within myself and see where it was all coming from.

Fear. Of course, right? Everything is fear. 

What’s happening over there? What is he doing more of? What is she doing better? How do I need to step up my game?

What happens when we do this is we completely lose the plot of our own lives.

The Universe does not want or need you to do what they are doing. They are already doing it that way. The Universe needs you to do “you.”

It’s only got one shot at making whatever is supposed to come through your individual self, happen.

You are here to live your own story. The Universe has planted it within you and you are the only one capable of being a channel for that energy and expression.

I didn’t need to write about what other people already wrote about. If my reader needs to know that information, I trust they will be led there. I need to write about what’s inside of me. That’s the story I’m here to tell.

What we need to remind ourselves is that we are always right where we need to be. We have already arrived. We are good enough just by being. No special action is necessary as the rest comes on its own, if we allow it.

We need only to stay focused on ourselves to use that Universe-gifted energy as a force in creating our own lives as we wish.

I was sitting at the nail salon a couple of weeks ago and I found myself looking over at everyone else’s nail color. Maybe I should have gotten pink, I thought. Her pink is pretty. I wonder if it’s too late to change my mind.

Then, on the other side of me, a woman was getting blue. Shoot, I love blue. Why am I getting green?

And suddenly, from somewhere, I heard this voice that said:


So I did.

I did not look to the left or the right again.

I kept my presence in my own chair.

And guess what happened? I loved my green nails. They were perfect.

They were me.

Those green nails ended up finishing my book without fear or doubt – without wondering if I was missing anything at all.

I wasn’t.

In a beautiful article on, Jane Ratcliffe put it best:

“You don’t need to prove your value—any more than does a bird in a tree. You have flaws, yes. You also have magnificence. You are made of star dust. Energy straight from the heavens animates you. Mama Earth coddles you. Externals fade, rot, change. Your identifiers belong to hordes of others. There are eight million New Yorkers. There are a multitude of writers. Of boxers. Planes and cars and trains are bursting with travelers. And there is only one beautiful, precious, beloved you. You are your heart. You are what you give to others. You are your laughter. Your existence is demanded.”

Do you.

You can’t and won’t accomplish anything at all by comparing yourself to others.

The only way you can get your story done is by following the demand I heard in that salon:


The world needs more of your color.



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A note from Amy

I was once where you are so I totally get ya’. After suffering from a myriad of challenges from general anxiety about life to Lyme disease, endometriosis and every autoimmune disease under the sun, I ended up on a search for something deeper than a “fix”. I went to many alternative practitioners – but I couldn’t relate to a single one of them. As a very grounded-in-reality person, many were just too ‘woo woo’ for me and I couldn’t integrate their guidance into my very real-life, life. Then I found myself on an adventurous path of emotional healing — using energy therapy. Talk about ‘woo woo’ right? But with it, I learned. I unfolded. I let go.
My ultimate healing, the kind that goes deep down to your core and makes you whole again, came from following this road. And yours just might too.